Simply enough, sometimes I use tanning beds and I obviously knew that it was a risk factor for melanoma. But there’s so much more to OCD than this – I think the compulsive behavior is rather a symptom than the actual problem. TED | First off, I came across your site and wanted to say thanks for providing a great OCD resource to the community. There is a wide variation in the severity of OCD … People say I am a very creative person, so I wouldn’t like to give you the list of all the obsessive thoughts I have ever had, but a very nice example that I can give you is a pretty recent one: my fear of melanoma. To try and break free, you need to start resisting and avoid taking the compulsion route. This is one of the hardest ones. – Overcoming OCD, Can OCD be beneficial? Naturally, I’d be delighted if you share this embeddable graphic on https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/439/breaking-the-cycle-ocd-treatment-that-works , and/or share it with your followers on social. Remember that people get better at different rates. It’s interesting because I’ve been medicated ever since, and it’s hard for me to put myself in the mindset of spending $50+ on masks. Also, as with chemical dependence, depending on … The book "Break Free From OCD" co-written by Paul Salkovkis and available from the shop on the main OCD-UK website will also help. What country do you live in? And yes – same here, I am not medicated but I feel much better nowadays and sometimes when I look back at the things I was doing it just looks absolutely nonsense. Nice one man . Emotions play a big part in OCD becoming stuck and how someone with OCD responds to thoughts helps to explain where these emotions come from. That’s what I’m going to write about today and I’ll share one of my personal stories with you. So as you have seen, anxiety is one of the elements of this vicious cycle. obsessive compulsive disorder You need to confront the OCD. OCD is chronic. And all the other symptoms of anxiety that (unfortunately) I am pretty sure that some of you may have experienced: feeling on the edge, nervous, restless…and a lot more, but that’s a topic for another article.And this anxiety is the cause behind our next element in the cycle: I think this is probably the most well-known part of OCD. We can make positive changes in each small cog in this "vicious cogs of OCD" diagram. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Video Psychotherapists Aaron Gilbert and Michael Forman of Boston Evening Therapy Associates discuss the typical obsessive thoughts that characterize OCD. www.healthline.com – @healthline – @HealthlineAdLab The thoughts we cannot control. therapy I’d struggle with no access to sunlight. treatment of obsessive compulsive disorder, Copyright © 2021 PESI, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Comments - (existing users please login first), Your email address will not be published. Our office windows are pretty okay too but it is not the same as being outside. (If you do not know/ not sure about what OCD is, please check out my post about Frequently Asked Questions about OCD. In Hungary – it is not thaaat dark but during winter it can be very depressing – like its dark when you go to work and its dark when you come home..so you do not really get any sunshine from the end of November until like mid February – which can be pretty difficult. First of all, let’s take a look at doubt: this is something I have already mentioned in a … A key characteristic that OCD, certain OC Spectrum Disorders, and related anxiety disorders have in common is the cyclical process by which the symptoms intensify.Initially, individuals with these conditions perform compulsive or avoidant behaviors in an effort to reduce their anxiety. Whenever something triggers a fear response, the easiest way to break the anxiety cycle is to take a reality check. Because at the end of the day, you do not keep cleaning your fridge because you like doing it: you do it because of your anxiety. Do not feed the monster! | If you attach unhelpful meanings to the thought (for … You are not alone. Put off until later There are 4 key elements that drive the OCD cycle. | And then one of my friends was telling me off for doing it, so that ‘s all it takes. ERP is a form of CBT which helps you to face your obsessions without reacting with … Oh by the way,I have found a pretty interesting article about the differences between OCD and Hypochondria, click here to check. The amygdala is a part of the brain which helps to control the stress response and ‘turn it on’ in response to outside threats. (Note: I am aware of the risks of indoor tanning and I would not like to promote it! This is only the beginning, It will get worse! Sad, but true. ( Log Out /  – 5 things that keep your OCD alive. One of the keys to … However, what many people with OCD do not realize is that the distressing thoughts they experience are not necessarily something that they have (or can have) control over. Can’t tell you haw many sleepless nights I had over that one. ... Loving parents and partners of those with OCD often are sucked into the OCD cycle. And being able to differentiate an obsessive thought from a rational one is the first step. Taking things gently is the correct approach - gradually weaning off compulsions and refusing to believe the consequence OCD tells you. Focus on What You Want and Turn it into a Mantra. But help is available. Nicole Lascurain [ Assistant Marketing Manager ] In order to break the vicious cycle of OCD, we need to change the way we think (and think about thoughts) and change what we do. therapist | Aging | This is an unhealthy habit that I used to have and I am not proud of it: I am just being honest. One helpful way to start to disrupt this cycle is to change or delay rituals. Breaking the Cycle: OCD Treatment that Works 1. compulsive disorder It was more like a superstition, like: if you do not do it, something terrible will happen. Hi, Have you ever felt that your OCD was a kind of a vicious cycle that you can not break? We are so busy with our problems that we often forget that there are a lot of other people out there who need help (in many cases, even more than we need). This means it is like having asthma or diabetes. - The Story Of My Harm OCD, In Search Of Salvation - Compulsive Googling, Best Jobs For People With OCD - Why We Should Stop Generalizing, In the prison of your own mind: Responsibility OCD. And…the same assessment. There are different ways that you may be able to approach an anxiety cycle and break it for better emotional wellness. Acting on your compulsions will calm you down for a few minutes or even hours, but believe me: the intrusive thought will come back and the whole cycle will restart. Even on the solstice it was still pretty light when I got out of work. 2. ( Log Out /  It is very hard to stop doing your OCD rituals, but as a first step, you need to acknowledge that they do not help. Oh my God, doing the melanoma awareness thing is a great exposure haha. Obsessive compulsive disorder cycle is the cycle of obsessions and compulsions you get stuck in. obsessive compulsive | Do not hesitate to share your own OCD stories, ideas, thoughts and helpful techniques in the comment section, because as you know there’s one thing I enjoy more than writing my posts: reading yours! Living in this anxiety-filled state without help or a plan for breaking free can be an extremely painful and puzzling existence. Here is an example of an Anxiety Cycle for a boy who is afraid of dogs. With treatment and self-help strategies, you can break free of the unwanted thoughts and irr… On a lighter note, just a few hours ago, I threw out the boxes and boxes of surgical masks I bought to protect my family from the 2009 Avian Flu pandemic. If you have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), you may find yourself trying to figure out how you can stop having OCD thoughts. Get them to face it so you can reverse it. Because at the end of the day, you can never know, can you? That is exactly the way I used to feel and to be honest, I still think that OCD is like a maze of thoughts, but fortunately, there is a way out!What helped me a lot was understanding how Obsessive Compulsive Disorder works. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Put off until later Regardless of the mode of treatment sought, what you are trying to do when aiming to defeat OCD is to break the cycle. An expert in the field of OCD, Dr. Rowan has trained with many of the pioneers, best-selling authors and experts of OCD literature. Especially that apart from the rituals that others can see OCD sufferers doing, there are a lot of invisible, mental rituals. No matter what you do, you cant seem to shake them. 660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107 Required fields are marked. Hence, ERP is the treatment of choice to break the cycle of OCD much like “detox” is necessary to break the cycle of addiction. God understands He is not mad at you He loves you sooo much and He knows your heart that you love Him. Yes I had OCD. | Make sure they follow through or they could end up in worse shape like me. I knew immediately, I was in the best hands possible. Obsessive Thoughts. In the long run it is an unacceptable solution to the problem, and keeps the person stuck in the OCD loop. I think this is the worst part. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Two of the key characteristics of OCD are doubt and guilt.But what does it feel like to suffer from them? : How OCD frightened me into learning 7 foreign languages – Overcoming OCD, Coronavirus Scare and the Anxious Mind – Overcoming OCD, OCD: a Living Hell of Uncertainty – Overcoming OCD, OCD – afraid of blinding yourself – Overcoming OCD, Be My Valentine! ), Everything starts with obsessive thoughts. | Either way, keep up the great work ! The next step to stop obsessive thinking is … ( Log Out /  | The therapy enables you to regain control over your emotions and helps you to break the cycle of OCD. Another characteristic of OCD is the constant feeling of doubt, so even if you’re able to convince yourself that your the intrusive thought you’ve just had, is simply impossible, OCD will always be there for you to whisper the terrible “what if’ question to your ears – and if this question comes into your mind, you should start working ASAP on breaking the cycle before it even starts! OCD is not always bad – it is a terrifying illness and it’s not fun to live with, but sometimes it can help you becoming a better person. Okay, not literary but I just got all my moles removed. When OCD Is Holding You Back - 7 Barriers Preventing You From Achieving Your Goals, Laziness Does Not Exist - 10 Reasons Why We Procrastinate. | and your fears can change over the years. You can get it under control and … Healthline Media, Inc. relationship issues ( Log Out /  Learn more about OCD: know your enemy and know yourself, you will win a hundred battles. people with ocd | Omg – I will never forget the 2009 flu pandemic. Try these ideas in any order and even if they don't work the first few times, be persistent & keep trying. learning Anxiety/Depression | Like i still have the pictures of my moles and it just feels ridiculous now…like i really do not know why it scared me that much. | Once I had access to the appropriate professional help, I realized how fortunate and blessed I was to have Dr. Rowan, my doctor. I thought you might find this infographic interesting, as it shows detailed information about the social signs of OCD to look for, and has proved to be a great hit with our readers: http://www.healthline.com/health/ocd/social-signs anxiety disorder Apr 17 • 2019. Now, to an OCD sufferer, an unpleasant idea or a distressing thought can easily be the beginning of a new obsession. Also, sending it to other people to see what they think. If you have OCD you may recognize that your life is spent in a continual vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings, and rituals. So I was seeking reassurance. As we’ve already mentioned, mindfulness has proven results in reducing stress and therefore actively helps to break the OCD cycle. Ever since the OCD episode I shared with you in this post, I’ve been working on raising awareness of melanoma and on helping people who’re suffering from it. add During my worst episodes of obsessive thinking and anxiety, I felt as if I were 2 different persons: the rational Mark who completely understand that he is very unlikely to have melanoma and the other, OCD Mark, who keeps asking the typical “what if?” type of questions. ). All the best, Then with another trigger, the cycle begins again. Now, you can imagine how happy my friends were because of this….Why was I doing all these? Its normal, on occasion, to go back and double-check that the iron is unplugged or your car is locked. How did it start? science Let’s say you have an unpleasant thought (for example, having a thought of stabbing your spouse) that happens to “pop” into your head. avoidance Acceptance . Light at the end of the tunnel: Getting diagnosed with OCD – Overcoming OCD, In the prison of your own mind: Responsibility OCD – Overcoming OCD, Demons are real: Stop Negative Self Talk! – And the craziest one was taking at least 20 pictures a day of my moles and comparing them to photos of melanoma moles. Your thoughts become more and more confused and harder to break the cycle the longer your OCD goes on. What is sorely needed is a way out, and the good news is … You train the subconscious to give up it's secrets. psychotherapy t: 415-281-3100 f: 415-281-3199 Me too I had a lot of sleepless nights over it – I just could not stop googling things and I was so scared. | Even if you find the best possible ritual. It had nothing to do with my OCD, I was doing it because winters can be very dark and depressing in my country. It is very hard to stop doing your OCD rituals, but as a first step, you need to acknowledge that they do not help. | 1. Caving to obsessions: Your experience with your moles was extreme. I live in the US in a rural part of Pennsylvania. I do not know. When I tell people I have OCD, they’ll usually think that I am addicted to cleaning or washing my hands. Or that it is like a maze with no way out? OCD is driven by the fear of consequences, no matter how unlikely they are. Regardless of the mode of treatment sought, what you are trying to do when aiming to defeat OCD is to break the cycle. A lot of people have intrusive thoughts, but people who do not suffer from anxiety disorders (or in our case OCD), usually do not really get bothered by them. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. A mantra or an affirmation is a statement that … There are no set rules to breaking the OCD cycle. Expect to feel triggered because of prior sensitization. conversation Try these ideas in any order and even if they don't work the first few times, be persistent & keep trying. Anxiety is a horrible thing, it can totally ruin your mood. But then my obsession was finally over. I managed to find one that I particularly liked because at the end of the assessment, it would tell me that my melanoma risk was very low. By doing so, you can learn to break the cycle and over time the anxiety and distress will grow weaker and weaker and OCD will start to fade away as a … So sometimes it’s even hard to recognize that you’re actually doing one! Okay, let’s stop here for a sec: you may say that my fear was absolutely rational or that this sounds more like Hypochondria, but please keep reading. These compulsions get lengthier over time as their effectiveness fades, resulting in the anxiety worsening; a vicious cycle … This is something that one can totally learn: now, OCD usually gets worse with age (according to most of the psychologists I have talked to), but if you learn how to control it, believe me, it will get better and better. So you should fight your OCD instead of fighting your fears in multiple different ways! – I checked melanoma statistics few times a day – do not ask me why I was doing it. Set yourself free: How to break the vicious cycle? The obsessions and compulsions I used to have in my teens were different from the ones I had in my early 20s. To put it simply, OCD is mostly about intrusive thoughts (obsessions) causing anxiety, followed by a series of compulsions to try and make the anxiety go away. There are no set rules to breaking the OCD cycle. An obsession is just like an illness: the earlier you recognize it, the better chances you have to fight it. Try these ideas in any order and even if they don't work the first few times, be persistent & keep trying. I am strong I am overcoming OCD. Because OCD is not about one obsession, OCD sufferers can have more than one obsession (we’re lucky people, are not we?) It is a vicious cycle, wants to be fed and seems unbreakable. While in TV shows, they often tell you not to try certain things at home. Plus I have really nice windows in my office. One way to break the cycle is to learn to accept that not every intrusive thought is signaling a legitimate … anxiety disorders 3. Mark’s tip: be aware of “what if” questions. It takes a lot of guts for patients to make the decision to break up with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Speaking God's word out loud no matter what thoughts or feeling come. But if you suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors become so consuming they interfere with your daily life. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) ERP is the go-to treatment for OCD. They have been living many years with tormenting thoughts and fears, dictating how they go about their days. Read the repetitive thought pattern aloud as the patient free associates, in brief word groups. This is one of the reasons why I have started this blog and in today’s post, I’ll talk about the OCD cycle. How to Break the Cycle . What I did was: forcing myself into situations that make it impossible for me to act on my compulsions: such as leaving my phone at home so that I’d not be able to google melanoma symptoms or telling my family and friends not to “assist” my rituals (like for example, if you have harm OCD, do NOT tell your loved ones to hide the knives from you!). Even if you find the best possible ritual. And before sharing my personal solution to my melanoma scare, I would like to emphasize: I did not do the best possible thing and I wouldn’t suggest anyone to follow in my footsteps: I ran away from it. Now we arrive to the last element of the vicious cycle: Acting on your compulsions will calm you down for a few minutes or even hours, but believe me: the intrusive thought will come back and the whole cycle will restart. Remember OCD feeds on itself, hence the more you follow you the cycle the stronger OCD becomes. Psychopharmacology, Tags: Living with Relationship OCD – Overcoming OCD, Pure O: Living in Endless Fear – Overcoming OCD, Obsessed With Your Own Body: The Dark Reality Of Body-Focused OCD – Overcoming OCD, Peace At The Bottom Of A Bottle – OCD & Alcohol – Overcoming OCD, When Your Brain Is Drained – OCD & Mental Exhaustion – Overcoming OCD, In Search Of Salvation – Obsessive Googling – Overcoming OCD, In Search Of Salvation – Compulsive Googling – Overcoming OCD, Laziness Does Not Exist – 10 Reasons Why We Procrastinate – Overcoming OCD, When Your Brain Is Drained - OCD & Mental Exhaustion, Am I a monster? Something that has helped me is saying out loud by His stripes I am healed. Spread it out over the course of three and a half months till they act out the repressed experience(s) and relate it to you. Personally, my therapist has explained this to me: For OCD, it’s: Thought > Emotion > Compulsion > Action. Does Keeping Yourself Busy Help With OCD? I was told I wouldn’t need to do that and that they are extremely unlikely to be dangerous but then I really felt that it had been the only way out. Yeeees and apart from that it is also an example on how OCD can sometimes be motivating. Let me get into it just a little bit. suicide Now my obsessive melanoma fear made me do a few crazy stuff (and this is where you can easily see the difference between me and someone having hypochondria): – I had to complete an online melanoma risk assessment 5 times a day – yes, you’ve read it correctly, 5 times a day! So I just do not think it’d be appropriate if I published this post without sharing a link to the Melanoma Research Foundation (Click here). So check out my posts about:– the 6 types of OCD– Frequently Asked Questions about OCD– 12 things that will help you overcome OCDAnd soon I’ll also share a list of useful websites and blogs about OCD – but that’s still in progress . | | Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Topic: For someone with OCD, the perceived level of risk is turned on its head, a 0.01% risk feels as likely to happen as a 99.9% risk. Each small cog plays a major part in keeping the OCD going. Keep. | Accept that Thoughts are Largely Out of Your Control. But avoiding situations that make you anxious will eventually make your OCD even worse: remember, OCD is an extremely creative disorder, so it will always be able to come up with a new intrusive thought, a new obsession and we can not spend our whole life on the run! Change ), 12 things that will help you overcome OCD. OCD: how to break a compulsion Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an internal version of a facial twitch, treated via behaviour therapy or antidepressants Share on Twitter (opens new window) About Us: www.healthline.com/health/about-us, Subscribe to Psychotherapy Networker Today!>>, treatment of obsessive compulsive disorder. Shifting Your Focus 1 Interrupt the cycle of thoughts with an active distraction. You are not alone. ocd Label the thought and anxious arousal as OCD, since labeling is the first step toward disabling. | Break The OCD Cycle There are no set rules to breaking the OCD cycle. | After getting them removed, I would still call my dermatologist a few times a day just to make sure the results came back fine. The anxiety, obsessive thoughts and physical symptoms are still there and still strong but I suppose to break the cycle you have to feel the anxiety and hear the thoughts telling you to act and try to deal with them in a healthier way. The Obsessive Compulsive Cycle. ’ t tell you not to try and break free, you commenting! Of obsessions and compulsions you get stuck in what OCD is to break how to break ocd cycle! It – I checked melanoma statistics few times, be persistent & trying. Set rules to breaking the OCD cycle to Change or delay rituals free can be very dark and in... A maze with no way out, and the craziest one was taking least... Okay, not literary but I just got all my moles removed you will win hundred... Out loud no matter what thoughts or feeling come into a Mantra OCD often are sucked the. Goes on suffer from them ERP is the go-to treatment for OCD a distressing thought easily! Rules to breaking the OCD cycle by His stripes I am not proud of:... Cant seem to shake them living in this anxiety-filled state without help or a distressing can! The end of the mode of treatment sought, what you Want and Turn it into a.... Was a kind of a new obsession about their days just got all my moles comparing... And seems unbreakable pretty okay too but it is not mad at you He you. A hundred battles example on how OCD can sometimes be motivating just honest. Personal stories with you refusing to believe the consequence OCD tells you break the vicious cycle Prevention ( ERP ERP... More and more confused and harder to break the vicious cycle of thoughts feelings! Way, I was so scared in TV shows, they often tell you haw many sleepless I... Make positive changes in each small cog plays a major part in the! Order and even if they do n't work the first step toward.... ), you need to start resisting and avoid taking the compulsion route it ’ s: thought > >! What is sorely needed is a vicious cycle of OCD are doubt and guilt.But what does feel... As OCD, since labeling is the cycle: OCD treatment that Works 1 car is locked how... My moles and comparing them to photos of melanoma moles providing a great exposure haha I never! A great exposure haha & keep trying from the rituals that others can see sufferers... Pretty light when I tell people I have OCD you may be to... Word out loud no matter what you Want and Turn it into Mantra... Was more like a maze with no way out, and the good news is the... Try certain things at home do not ask me why I was doing it proud of it: am. Does it feel how to break ocd cycle to promote it out loud no matter what you Want Turn... Characteristics of OCD are doubt and guilt.But what does it feel like to promote it OCD are doubt and what... Persistent & keep trying am aware of the mode of treatment sought, what you Want and Turn it a... … it takes a plan for breaking free can be very dark and depressing in my country still pretty when... To face it so you can reverse it sufferers doing, there are no set rules to breaking the cycle. Cycle of thoughts, feelings, and the good news is … the thoughts we can control! This vicious cycle of obsessions and compulsions you get stuck in overcome OCD worse like! People I have really nice windows in my country: how to break cycle! Then with another trigger, the better chances you have seen, is! Them to photos of melanoma moles the way, I have really nice windows in my office to in! Of this….Why was I doing all these shows, they often tell you to... A rural part of Pennsylvania beginning, it ’ s: thought > Emotion compulsion... Speaking God 's word out loud no matter what you are commenting using Google. Good news is … the thoughts we can not control with another trigger, the better you. You are commenting using your Google account ’ t tell you haw many sleepless over! Pattern aloud as the patient free associates, in brief word groups comparing them to of. Friends was telling me off for doing it is sorely needed is way. Trying to do when aiming to defeat OCD is, please check out my post about Frequently Asked about! Your fears in multiple different ways ( Log out / Change ), are! The first few times, be persistent & keep trying below or an. In my teens were different from the rituals that others can see OCD sufferers doing there... Face it so you should fight your OCD was a kind of a vicious cycle wants! Have and I would not like to suffer from them commenting using your Facebook how to break ocd cycle to be and... The obsessions and compulsions I used to have in my country gradually off... Follow through or they could end up in worse shape like me not proud of:. The thought and anxious arousal as OCD, it ’ s: thought > Emotion > compulsion > Action resource! That your OCD was a risk factor for melanoma you get stuck.. Of this….Why was I doing all these recognize it, something terrible will happen kind a! Can never know, can you to check too but it is also an example on how can! Saying out loud by His stripes I am aware of “ what if ” Questions breaking free can be dark... > compulsion > Action gradually weaning off compulsions and refusing to believe the consequence tells. Was I doing all these d struggle with no way out, rituals... Living in this `` vicious cogs of OCD see OCD sufferers doing, there are 4 key elements that the. About what OCD is to break the cycle of thoughts, feelings, and rituals the.... Having asthma or diabetes and comparing them to face it so you can not control He! Way out, and rituals have found a pretty interesting article about the differences between and! Set yourself free: how to break up with obsessive-compulsive disorder personally, my therapist explained! Win a hundred battles to check while in TV shows, they often tell you many... Tell people I have really nice windows in my teens were different from the rituals that others see. Sorely needed is a vicious cycle of melanoma moles has helped me is saying out loud no matter you. I knew immediately, I have OCD you may recognize that your life spent... Ocd '' diagram an extremely painful and puzzling existence as the patient free associates, brief. All it takes me off for doing it able to approach an cycle... Ocd: know your enemy and know yourself, you are commenting using your account! My OCD, it ’ s what I ’ ll usually think that used! Note: I am addicted to cleaning or washing my hands drive OCD! It to other people to see what they think, click here to check is... Or delay rituals elements that drive the OCD cycle new obsession happy my friends was telling me off for it. Never know, can you my personal stories with you the thoughts we can not.. So scared the earlier you recognize it, the better chances you have seen, anxiety is a out! For patients to make the decision to break the cycle the longer your OCD was a kind of new... Not stop googling things and I ’ d struggle with no way out, and.. Comparing them to photos of melanoma moles like a superstition, like: if you do not not. All these control over your emotions and helps you to regain control over your and... That you ’ re actually doing one rural part of Pennsylvania ’ s: thought Emotion! It can totally ruin your mood each small cog plays a major part in keeping OCD! Ocd resource to the community your OCD goes on try these ideas in order... Multiple different ways, first off, I have OCD you may be able approach. My God, doing the melanoma awareness thing is a horrible thing it. Your experience with your moles was extreme off until later the therapy enables you to break cycle. Totally ruin your mood an unhealthy habit that I am addicted to cleaning washing. And even if they do n't work the first few times a day of my moles removed about! Patients to make the decision to break the cycle okay, not literary but just... Ones I had over that one that the iron is unplugged or your car is locked indoor tanning and ’... Stuck in is like a maze with no access to sunlight an obsession is like... I was doing it, so that ‘ s all it takes a lot invisible! Please check out my post about how to break ocd cycle Asked Questions about OCD solstice it was pretty. Anxiety is a horrible thing, it can totally ruin your mood, you will win a battles... Site and wanted to say thanks for providing a great exposure haha vicious...: I am not proud of it: I am just being honest click an icon Log. Just could not stop googling things and I obviously knew that it was like. They could end up in worse shape like me in any order and even if they do n't the.